Melancholy – A subdued emotion

Happy faces and wide smiles everywhere.  Celebrations, accomplishments and all things good take the limelight – be it everyday life or social media. Almost as if we are not allowed to connect with our deepest feelings of sorrow and grief. Toxic positivity is a thing that never gets addressed often in this world where everyone is either obsessed of being happy or is pretending to be happy.

Only if we bring a culture where melancholy is not looked down upon, will we be able to discuss openly about fears that lie deep inside the darkest corner of our hearts. Only then will we learn to understand each other better, only then will we be able to get rid of each other’s happy masks to have a heart-to-heart talk about something that is simmering inside us.

What we fail to realise is that there is beauty in melancholy too. What we fail to do as a society is have a more inclusive outlook where everyone’s feelings, nature and emotions of sorrow are respected.

It’s not really about cheering someone up. It’s about being just there for someone who is going through a rough patch. It’s about being a patient listener and feeling the pinch of someone else’s moments of grief.

Dissolving the image

Sometimes we are so invested in the image that we have created about ourselves that it becomes very difficult to shrug it off.

For example, I am a writer, and if someone tells me that I am not good, my first reaction would be how can that person say this.

But if I keep my image aside and delve into what the other person has to say, I would be able to look at the naked truth fearlessly and improve my writing skills.

Similarly, when someone is abusing me, if I simply dissolve my image, I would understand that the other person is blurting out his/her anger or frustration. The other person will only dissipate energy which I wouldn’t be absorbing as I now have no image or ego.

By dissolving your image, you will learn to not take yourself seriously. You will learn to forgive, forget, love and live effortlessly.

It’s extremely difficult to dissolve one’s image. But it’s possible. I try. I fail many times, but also succeed at times.

It’s not a sign, it’s a curse

We believed we are the center of this universe

But now, it’s only getting better for the worse

Oh, can’t you see, it’s not just a sign, it’s a curse

Nature has its own ways

To make us count our days

life is to love, only to love, it says

When at every step we only stumble

When the race is about to perish and crumble

All we can be is humble

Thousands have come, millions have gone

In the end, they only lived till their last dawn

It’s true for us too, we forget, that day won’t be long

The victory flags you wave

The heaps of pride you save

All your diamonds, of which you rave

What for? Nothing is here to stay

You could have kissed and hugged a little more, but now you can’t

Now what’s the point of all the medals you flaunt?

Covid-19 vs the fear of Covid-19

Never before has the world witnessed challenging times like these. The pandemic has forced us to step back and look at new ways of living. Social distancing, lockdown and home quarantine are considered to be some of the most effective ways to flatten the curve. But all this has also affected humanity psychologically in many ways. It has instilled fear in our minds. Let’s look at these fears closely today and understand how we can overcome them.

The first fear I want to discuss is that of a patient who has been tested corona positive. One needs to understand that corona is a virus and covid is the severe condition or disease that arises out of covid infection. There are many corona positive cases who don’t even have any kind of symptoms. The virus comes and goes, even without you realising it. According to some doctors and statistics, 80% of corona positive cases don’t even get hospitalized. Corona positive patients can recover by treatments and medication even at home. So, please relax and focus on the healing process rather than getting paranoid about the negative thoughts that emerge in your mind. Same goes to the loved ones of a corona positive patient.

The second type of fear is the one that arises in patients who are admitted, patients who have severe symptoms and the dear ones of these patients. Yes, this is going to be a difficult phase for you. Fear in such a situation is inevitable. All you can do is hope for things to get better and try being positive. I know it’s better said than done because fear of death is the greatest fear which I believe very few people can get over with. But by controlling your fear, you will invite positivity, which may help in faster recovery.

The third kind of fear I would like to discuss is the fear that arises in people who are not even affected by the virus. All the news channels, WhatsApp messages and forwards are constantly showing you the rising number of corona cases. This fear is completely avoidable. All you have to do is stay indoors as much as possible and take all the necessary preventive measures. You are only getting anxious for no particular reason.

Finally, I would like to conclude by saying that since most of us are staying indoors, frustration and anxiety are bound to make their presence felt as we have never before felt more caged in life. When you are feeling low or anxious, don’t close yourself out, speak to your loved ones about your feelings, take medical help from a psychiatrist if required. Depression is real. You can’t just brush it aside, especially in these times. While you stay safe indoors, it’s also important to keep yourself occupied in some kind of physical activity or engage in some kind of exercise. Also, the kind of food you consume can also have an effect on your wellbeing.

I know these things are easily accessible to you on the internet. I just thought of having an analytical approach to the fears that may arise within us due to the spread of covid.

Why is it illogical to expect someone to react the way you want them to?

You are simply a compilation of images that you’ve created about yourself and perceptions you have about others. You expect someone to react the way you want them to because you assume a lot of things even without taking an effort to know that person.

The matter of the fact is, no matter how hard you try to know someone, you can only try up to a certain extent. You have absolutely no idea how the other person thinks and how he/she was brought up.  You have no idea about the kind of circumstances he/she has gone through, the influences he/she had, the experiences he/she had in life etc.

Yes, it’s extremely difficult to break the image you’ve created about yourself and about others. There’s a lot of ego you keep feeding in the process. This ego keeps growing so much that it’s next to impossible to leave your ego behind after a point. In fact, we actually start believing that we are the images that we’ve created about ourselves.

We need to understand that these images are simply assumptions and not real. So, you really cannot except how another person is going to respond to you. 

The only things which are common among all human beings are the feelings of sorrow, hurt, pleasure, love, happiness etc. These feelings take different forms in different people based on their experiences, memory and all that we talked about earlier. When you realise this fact and control the image-making process in your head, you will ultimately feel at ease, because you are not expecting the other person to respond to you in a certain way.

What’s the measure of monotony?

Most people (including me) would probably deal with this question by comparing their lives with someone else’s.

For example, if you compare your life with the man who presses the lift buttons for you, day-in and day-out without complaining for years together, you would feel that the lift-man’s life is monotonous.

But the fact is that probably the liftman doesn’t feel that his life is as monotonous as YOU think it is. Also, where do you draw the line?

No matter how busy you get, after a point, you may start feeling that life is getting monotonous. So what’s the escape? Start getting busier? Is there an end to this then?

I guess the answer lies in living to the fullest every moment, no matter how monotonous you feel your actions are. If you live every moment, then I guess you will find newness in every moment. If you do your action to the best of your ability and by being fully aware, then I feel you won’t feel that your actions are monotonous.

I too get bored at times and I am trying to find the answer. I haven’t been able to fully overcome this thing, but I am trying to reach there somehow.

Playing a sport is sometimes like meditation

For playing a sport, one needs to have the perfect equilibrium and coordination between the body and the mind. There are very few things that play in the mind of a sportsman who is in action.

For example, a football player is constantly trying to manoeuvre the ball correctly so that his/her team ultimately manages to score a goal.

So, if you want to draw an analogy between football and meditation, then the scoring of a goal is like enlightenment. However, the moment a football player thinks of the end result, he/she won’t be able to be in the moment. So, I suppose pure mediation is about being in the moment without thinking of the outcome. If you do that, you may or may not score a goal/ experience enlightenment. But as a player, this shouldn’t play on your mind, else you won’t be able to be in the moment and manoeuvre the ball like it actually should be.

Are we the one we think we are?

Human beings feel the way they are because of their thoughts, their feelings, their memories, their experiences, their own perceptions, their identities and much more. If we strip human beings off these things, will they be the way they are? Or can we even exist without paying attention to our experiences, or memory? What would be the content of human begins if they didn’t contain these elements? Will we contain nothing? Or is nothingness also a thing? Something that makes me ponder.

Stillness and effortless living

Fear is one of the most influential aspects of life that imprisons the mind at different levels. It overpowers our ability to think logically and ends up creating a mess in our head. Human beings, including me, have become so accustomed to fear that we think it’s a natural phenomenon. Maybe it’s natural, or is it? Let’s find out.

Happiness is a choice, or is it?

There’s a flip-side to everything in life. The choice is all yours, at least that’s what they say. Every situation, every interaction and every conversation can be perceived in a unique way. You can either feel bad, hurt and angry about something personal that happened to you or you could just turn it around and analyze the matter through a different lens. Fool yourself to believing that the more soothing perspective is the right one. This presumably, would make you feel at ease. Although, one could debate that this way, you would only be living a lie just to feel good. The question is how long can you run away from the truth, which could be harsh and bitter many-a-times?