I rest with my eyes open, wondering when sleep will take over me… wandering in search of something that even I don’t know what it’s going to be like, when I find it or should I say, if I find it. Certainty is a state of mind that breaks a chain of thoughts. I wished I was certain about what I am going through. Lucky are the ones who “know”. But when knowledge goes beyond what the books say, you start taking a trip that has no end. The restless mind makes you want to “know” and when you easily believe in what your mind has to say, life gets easy. But when another part of your mind takes a separate route, there is conflict until the time both these parts arrive at a consensus. I hope I break my chain of thoughts soon, I hope I learn to think of “Nothing” one day at least for some time.
I LOVE MY COUNTRY! A false fallacy that most of humanity lives in and heights of patriotism makes them so blind that you could actually go blind! Yes it’s difficult for someone to hate their own country for its narrow minded ideologies and other illogical actions that they boast about and are accountable for. India for some reason today has a face of a super-developing country with heavy investments in the power, industrial and agriculture sectors. But recent decisions taken by the government like banning beef just because hardcore Hindus think that cows are sacred; scrutinizing the censorship board on usage of words like “fuck”; banning an online Hindi version of Charlie Sheen’s “Roast” just because they thought it had too many abuses; banning the documentary “India’s Daughter” because they thought it would sabotage India’s image; shows how backward we really are in terms of thoughts that even arise in our heads. I am not that well-versed with world politics, but if you are from the USA and you have no problem with its ideology of becoming a world-power by dominating all other countries who have the potential to earn them bucks either because they have oil-treasures or because of any other reason, then you’ve got a problem. If you’re from Pakistan and were not a part of the protest against religious leaders instigating and propagating Jihad, then you’ve got a problem. Patriotism is great if you use it logically to fight for your rights, against militant attacks or to save lives, national property and nature. Someone rightly said that it’s important to be unbiased and unattached to know and accept the truth. And truth mostly resides where there is logic. Logic says humour is essential, religion is fatal and love is all that humanity needs.
Again a thought you might want to think about. As I write this, I would never even in my dreams want you to be influenced by my opinions. It would be an absolute nightmare for me if that happened, because that was never what I intended to do. I am just putting my thoughts across through my writings and want you to ponder about them… arrive at your own conclusions. Though, it’s my thought, I don’t claim that it’s original. Even I have been influenced in some way by what I have observed, experienced or read. What I derive at through my experiences is subject to alterations as I make new observations. Logic is what drives my thought. If you don’t find logic in what I am proposing you are entitled to thrash it. But reasoning is always prejudiced by earlier influences which make thought processes even more rigid. What’s required is a need to disconnect with your influences and treat your new thought in isolation from all that you’ve learned earlier. What I think is that unlearning first to learn new concepts leads to a greater and in most cases a more accurate understanding.
Having control over something gives you a feeling of accomplishment for some odd reason, but we forget that this feeling of accomplishment that you sense might sometimes be at the cost of freedom of that “something”. This “something” that I am talking about could be anything. It could be physical or emotional. It could be a living being or its thoughts, its actions. It could be your own thoughts or actions. It could be a piece of land or a machine. How you choose to control is purely your choice. We know how religions, bad education systems, preachers, leaders and ideologies have controlled our thoughts since centuries. To an extent that it has almost wiped out the necessity to reason, to ask logical questions and find out their logical answers. Controlling to climax at the right time for satisfying your partner is good. Controlling the speed of your vehicle to avoid an accident is good. Controlling to stay away from an addiction to be healthy is good. Controlling your anger or sorrow? Aaam.. I don’t believe it’s that great an idea. I wished everyone lost control over their anger or sorrow and let it dissipate into a beautiful conversation with someone around them, trying to find out the exact cause of what is making them angry or sorrowful. A good debate with logical reasoning can induce peace within you and sometimes save lives too.
It just takes a split of a second to die when a bullet or a missile hits you. Imagine you were reading this blog post and boom you are hit by a bomb! A kid was probably planting potatoes in his garden when he is bombed, his mother comes crying out and boom she is bombed too. Who cares, we always wanted to possess acres of land or prove that our ideologies are right! What do you get at the end of it? You win. Do you really? You’ve just lost someone who would have lived a bit longer if they agreed with your so called philosophy or were on the other side of the fence. Who made these fences? We. Why are we safeguarding something that never had names written on them when they came in to existence? Most nations commit war crimes by bombing homes of innocent civilians, which tries to prove the point that wars are not a crime in itself. It’s like saying that a murderer is free to commit a crime if he has a logical reason for murdering someone. I don’t want to take sides, I feel anybody who can even think of initiating a dreadful event like a war or carrying out other terror attacks are heartless humans with no brains either.
The “wh” questions that we were taught in school are generally used, even after we grow old, to find answers to superficial questions like, “Where is Alice?”, “What is your name?” etc. We are so tied up in our daily routines that we rarely find time to use them for asking larger questions. Or, if we were to analyse, we do not have any clue what these larger questions could be. Why do we need to ask these questions anyways? The point is, as long as we are happy, we do not feel the need to ask any questions. Questions are raised when we are trying to find the solution to a problem. Our problems are restricted to our personal lives and have no co-relation with what is happening outside the small world that we live inside. Why should we break our heads thinking of problems that do not affect us? Because we belong to the same race, the human race and have to ideally instinctively think of ways to help another fellow human being in trouble!
I was always under the impression that the freshest thoughts that come out of your little brains are the best ones. They seem to be exciting. Exciting, but sometimes only for some time though! For example if I were to read what I have just written, aaam may be four times it would look ok. But the fifth time I read it, it will start to look lustreless for some reason. Same is the case with the 90 minute script that I am currently writing, though I have completed two drafts, when I read it now, after a week, I feel that a lot of things can be reworked to make it more gripping and humorous. I am not sure if I should get depressed about this, but the fact is that I am a horrible re-writer. It’s difficult but, I guess it’s important for a writer to be able to rewrite what he or she has written and ofcourse better it. Ok, so I have to rewrite, I hope I can better what I have written already. I am only learning.