I rest with my eyes open, wondering when sleep will take over me… wandering in search of something that even I don’t know what it’s going to be like, when I find it or should I say, if I find it. Certainty is a state of mind that breaks a chain of thoughts. I wished I was certain about what I am going through. Lucky are the ones who “know”. But when knowledge goes beyond what the books say, you start taking a trip that has no end. The restless mind makes you want to “know” and when you easily believe in what your mind has to say, life gets easy. But when another part of your mind takes a separate route, there is conflict until the time both these parts arrive at a consensus. I hope I break my chain of thoughts soon, I hope I learn to think of “Nothing” one day at least for some time.
The moments just before you fall asleep are sometimes strangely beautiful as you are in the middle of slipping into an imaginary world which is free from the practicalities of the real world, where you can set the rules of the game. Into a world of dreams where you can choose to be as practical as you want or insanely impractical! The tug of war continues and finally you fall asleep because dreams are powerful, are where you can do what you could have never done in real life, are where we always want to hide secretly, where you churn out beautiful stories. Then comes the time when reality hits you like a bullet, when you open your eyes stare at the ceiling fan above you which tells you, get going, start running in circles again and you wish if you had never woken up and later smile again realising the fact that you could well be a part of a dream dreamt by someone else!